Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What is your best forbidden sex story that felt so right?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Is fellatio addictive?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have a reading level above third grade

Do you believe that social media companies should allow posts spreading misinformation about election results, as suggested by Rep. Jim Jordan?

I see through liars

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are the extra benefits of a smart TV?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Are democrats eating crow?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t cotton to rapists

World-First: Scientists Capture a Rare Lightning-Triggered Gamma-Ray Burst - SciTechDaily

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Scientists make disturbing discovery in analysis of human bodily fluids: 'Further research is required' - Yahoo

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Democrat voters, why are you so naive, easy to manipulate, can't see a liar standing right in front of you and why won't you research your party? You will find they have a plan for all W. Nations and it's evil.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why do I smell bad even though I have good hygiene?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Why does it matter so much to atheists that God doesn't exist?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

How do you get a girl to like you?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What is your review of House of the Dragon, season 2, episode 8, "The Queen Who Ever Was"?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Does the interpretation of the Book of בראשית create in all generations the Chosen Cohen People יש מאין?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why do humans sweat while stressed?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy bullshit

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I can count

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I actually pay taxes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?